


the hours between

by moriphyte



Series: how sad a flower [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:52:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5499467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The hours between 12am and 6am  have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world, or under it.”<br/>-Beau Taplin</p><p>Going to the playground at 1 am, running from the cops, getting drunk on boxed wine and sleeping on the beach, this is summer after midnight</p>
            </blockquote>





	the hours between

**Author's Note:**

> just a stupid vent fic based on stupid shit I actually did 3 summers ago set a year after the end of hsaf  
> I've come to the realization that my life is a bad indie movie

It's hot as fuck  
You lay on the futon with your bare feet on the wooden armrest and your head on John's Nic Cage body pillow that you stole from his room. The stained off white material is sandy underneath of you and it's almost as uncomfortable as the heat and the heavy wet air but you're too tired to really give too much of a fuck about it. On the other couch Karkat sits with Terezi sprawled across his lap noisily sucking on a cherry ice pop and being generally obnoxiously loud. In the chair on your other side Vriska is stretched out with her bare feet on the coffee table. You're all kind of just staring at the TV as it plays 1 am cartoons, specifically teenage mutant ninja turtles. "I'm so boooooooord" Vriska whines, throwing her head back against the back of the chair, squishing her huge messy bun of black hair in its sparkly blue hair tie, "and hoooooooot". "Go get an ice pop" Terezi says through a mouth full of cherry ice pop and Karkat curses when some of it fall out of her mouth and onto his shorts when she talks. "Oh my god I totally want a blueberry one" she says. "Then go get one" Karkat says, annoyed. "No way, too hot, too tired, not happening" she says. "Then stop bitching" he says. "Want some of mine?" Terezi asks, rolling over onto her back on Karkat's lap and holding out her half finished half melted cherry ice pop. She gives her a huge grin through a mouth sticky with cherry syrup. "No way I'm not eating your nasty cherry one besides its all over your hands and face it's going to be sticky as fuck." Terezi shrugs, "whatevs, more for me" she says and goes back to sucking obnoxiously loudly on the melted cherry ice pop in her hand. "Bluuuuuuuuh" Vriska whines even more dramatically than the last time. "Oh my fucking god I'll get it just stop bitching" you say, dragging yourself to your feet. She grins at you, "God Strider you're more helpful than Kanaya, it's sickening." You ignore her and turn to Karkat and Terezi. "You guys want some?" You ask. "Another cherry" Terezi says through a mouth full of melted cherry ice pop. "I'll have a pink one I guess" Karkat says. "It's strawberry not pink" Vriska says. "Shut the fuck up I'll call it what I want" he snaps and turns back to you. "Okay, blueberry cherry and strawberry got it"  
You pad over the worn sandy wood floor thats boards are warping with salty air and through the dining room with the same floor and into the little kitchen. You pad over the sandy peeling blue and white linoleum floor to the shitty little fridge and yank open the freezer door which causes the whole thing to shake  
You pull out a blue one a red one and two pink ones, you want one too, and slam the door. This makes the fridge shake and the bottom door swing open.  
You hip check it closed and walk over to the counter. You pull a knife from the mountain of dirty dishes and wipe it off on your shirt and then proceed to cut the ends off of the four ice pops  
You suck the extra ice pop from the discarded end and throw the knife back onto the counter, not bothering to clean it off  
You pad back into the living room, grabbing a handful of twizzlers from the overflowing 'snack mountain' on your way  
You pad back into the living room and hand the cherry one to Terezi along with a twizzler.  
She grins at you with a mouth stained red with cherry syrup and immediately attacks the ice pop  
You hand one of the strawberries to Karkat along with a twizzler  
"Thanks" he says but he doesn't look at you. Did you do something wrong? Is he actually mad at you about the seagull incident? It's always so fucking hard to tell with him. You can't deal with this mind game emotional level bull shit you dealt with it enough with your fucking Bro.  
Whatever he's probably just grumpy cause he got killer sunburn because he refused to put on the sunscreen that Kanaya was trying to smear on his face. You don't know how the hell he got burnt with his dark skin but somehow he found a way  
If anyone is gonna get sunburn it's you what with the albinism. You've always been kinda pissed that you just had to be a freaky red eyed white haired weirdo because of you didn't have it your skin would be darker than his  
You think he notices your demeanor change even behind you shades and he looks guilty  
Maybe he didn't mean it, maybe he's just stressed, kid needs to learn to majorly chill  
You pad back over to the futon and plop down, reaching over to hand Vriska a twizzler and the blueberry ice pop  
"Thanks Strider" she says with a grin and you nod before getting to shoving your twirler in your mouth  
Across the room Terezi is chewing on her entire twizzler at once while simultaneously sucking at her new ice pop, the old one discarded on the cluttered coffee table.  
Karkat is chewing on the end of his lightly and seems to be very focused on working the pink piece of crystallized ice up toward his mouth  
His twizzler sits on Terezi's stomach untouched  
Vriska is rubbing her sweaty hands all over her ice pop in an attempt to melt it and is ripping off pieces of her twizzler while she does  
By the time you all finish there is a blueberry syrup stain on Vriska's shorts and yet another cherry syrup stain on the couch.  
You all sit on a sort of dazed silence  
Finally Vriska yawns obnoxiously loudly and gets up, stretching her long arms above her head with a sickening series of cracks to follow  
"I'm going to bed, Tez you coming?" She asks, turning to face Terezi who is currently occupied with trying to kick off all the cherry syrup from her lips  
She pauses with her tongue still out of her mouth and shakes her head, "nah Ive had way too much sugar to sleep, I'll be up later"  
Vriska shrugs and turns to go but Terezi stops her, "do not use my pillow, I will know, you have a strong sent"  
"Why the fuck would I want to use your pillow it's all covered in drool" Vriska says  
"Because it's super comfy and you're always trying to take it. Do not use it. I will know, you know I will" she says  
"Fiiiiiiiine, I won't use it. Strider give me that pillow" she says, holding out her hand demandingly  
You pull the body pillow, which was a birthday gift from you, from under your body and toss it to her  
"Okay losers, I'm out" she says  
She turns on her heal and then she's walking loudly up the steps and disappearing upstairs  
When she's gone Terezi speaks up, having finally licked all the syrup off her face  
"Since Vriska's being lame I say we go do something"  
"What the fuck could be possibly do it's like 1 in the morning" Karkat says, still working diligently on his strawberry ice pop  
"I don't know we always find shit to do at home way later than this" you say  
"We could go get drunk on the beach" Terezi suggests  
"Yeah no we're not doing that again, we are not having a repeat of the watermelon incident" Karkat says  
"I thought it was the rum ham incident" you say  
"That's an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, dumbass" he snaps  
"Oh yeah, right. Sorry I just relate so closely to that show that sometimes I get it mixed up with my actual life" you say  
"We are nothing like them" Terezi protests  
"Aren't we though?" You ask, raising one eyebrow at he rove ruour shades  
She bites her lip and then sighs, "yeah, yeah we are"  
"But who's who?" She asks  
"Hmm, I'm Mac no doubt about it" you say  
"No you have to be Denis and Rose has to be Dee because they're the twins" Karkat says  
"No way I'm not Denis if anyone is its Vriska" you say  
"Yeah, I agree, Vriska is definitely the closet phychopath. Who am I then?" Terezi asks  
"You're either Dee or the Waitress"  
"I wanna be Charlie" she says  
"You're nothing like Charlie" Karkat says  
"Yeah but he's my favorite" she says  
"If anyone should be Charlie it's John" Karkat says  
"Yeah this is true" Terezi says, nodding  
"Okay then you're the waitress" you say  
"Why do I have to be the waitress" she whines  
"Because now shut up" Karkat says  
"Rude" she says but doesn't push it  
"Okay so who do we have left?" you ask  
"Kanaya Rose and Karkat" Terezi says  
"Rose is Dee" you say and everyone nods  
"Okay so who is Kanaya" Karkat asks  
"I don't know everyone on that show is an asshole there's no one good enough to be Kanaya" you say  
"What about Artemis?" Terezi offers  
"The one with the food fetish and a bleached asshole?" Karkat asks  
"Kanaya likes to cook and is the cleanest person I know" you say  
"Okay it's settled Kanaya is Artemis" Terezi says  
"Well then who am I?" Karkat asks  
You and Terezi look at each other and grin, "you're Frank, obviously" Terezi says  
"What? No way" he says  
"Dude you're like, Danny Devito's twin" you say  
"Yeah, plus youve got the whole troll motif he has going on" Terezi says  
"No I'm not being Danny Devito" Karkat says  
"Sorry dude you're Danny Devito it has been decided" you say  
"Hell yeah" Terezi says and you high five her  
"Fuck you guys you're the worst you know that" he says but he's forcing down a smile  
"Yeah we know" Terezi says with a grin  
"Okay back to what we were talking about, what should we do?" Karkat asks  
"We could go to the diner" Terezi suggests  
"We already do that at home and also Dave got food poisoning last time we ate there" Karkat says  
You nod in agreement, "yeah as much as I like that idea Tez I don't think I'm ready to go back there...so much puke...so much"  
"So then what should we do?" Terezi demands  
"How about the park?" You ask  
They're all quiet for a minute  
"The park would be fun" Terezi says  
"Yeah if we don't get yelled at by the cops for being out too late" Karkat says  
"Who cares dude, they're beach cops" you say  
"Park park park" Terezi chants, banging her fists on Karkat's thighs  
"Fine oh my god we'll go to the park just stop hitting me" he says, shoving her off of his lap  
"Yeah park!" Terezi says, jumping up from the futon with a huge grin on her face   
She slips on her red flip flops grabs her dragon backpack and takes off into the kitchen  
You and Karkat look at each other and then shrug and follow  
Karkat pulls on your dirty dick covered red vans that are sitting by the front door and you decide to just go without shoes  
When you get to the kitchen Terezi is waiting by the broken screen door grinning happily  
She has pulled one of your hoodies on over her rainbow dragon boxers and she has her hands shoved in the pockets. It's so big that it comes down like a small dress and the hood gathers loosely around her neck  
You are in the process of pulling on your good old Target brand (you've moved up from Walmart) red zip up sweatshirt and Karkat has padded into the laundry room   
While you're waiting you realize that you're still wearing your now dry ironic weed leaf swim trunks  
You've never even smoked and all your close friends know that big it doesn't mean you're not gonna make obnoxious weed jokes at every opportunity   
Karkat comes back out into the kitchen with a stretched out grey sweater that probably should have been thrown out three years ago on over his tan cargo shorts  
"Okay we ready to go?" He asks, looking at both of you  
"Yup, common loosers" Terezi chirps and pushed out the screen door to the back deck where the outdoor shower is  
She walks quickly across the deck and hops down the small set of stair into the sand and you and Karkat follow  
You walk through the parking lot next to your place, feet sinking into the cold sand, and out onto the sidewalk to town  
You love walking at night around here, barely anyone is awake but you can hear the hum of those who are still hanging outside or are awake on their houses  
You walk silently down the sidewalk until Terezi swerves and begins walking in the middle of the street  
You look at Karkat and shrug and follow her, it's not like anyone is on the street anyway  
You keep walking until you reach the nearly silent town. It's nice in a strange way, like entering another world, like gas stations after midnight  
You walk passed the closed shops and see only a few people hanging around the ice cream shop and sitting on the benches and the railing of the boardwalk  
When the park is in sight Terezi takes off running, backpack bouncing against her back  
Karkat curses beside you  
"Common man she's gonna beat us and take the good swing" you say, grabbing hand and pulling him after you  
Terezi beats you, as expected, and she takes the best swing, as expected  
You and Karkat plop down on the swings on either side of her and for a moment you're all quiet as you settle on your swings  
It's pretty quiet this late at night except for the distant sound of the ocean and the occasional unintelligible shout from town  
You've just been swinging back and forth with your feet still on the ground spacing out but beside you Terezi is already swinging about as high as she can  
Her loud laughing breaks you from you haze and you look over to see her leaning back on the swing with her head hanging, laughing at the stars  
You feel good seeing her smile and laugh again. Things have been better lately since you moved into a new apartment, or a different apartment in the same building anyway. You and Karkat share a room and she hasn't her own but almost never actually sleeps on her own bed, which you're not complaining about. You like having her there sleeping beside you, it's something you've done since you were thirteen and you don't plan on stopping any time soon even if other people think it's weird, fuck them. Despite the new living situation you know something is going on with her, but you would never be able to ask her. If she talks to you you will talk with her but you just can't do this shit you're not all that great with emotions  
You have a sudden surge of affection for her as she laughs that obnoxiously loud and terribly wonderful laugh while Karkat yells for her to shut the fuck up and you feel the same surge of affection for him  
You love them, you love them so much it hurts. They're your home, your everything, and you love them more than all but Rose  
You come back to reality and Terezi is still hanging her head but now she's yelling  
"Yeeeaaahhh!"  
"Oh my god shut up!" Karkat yells, "the cops are gonna come"  
"Who cares they're just beach cops what are they gonna do, hit us with their bikes?" You ask and you can't hide your small laugh when he glares at you  
"I don't know about you but I would like to avoid having to pay another fine, that one for the dip and dots thing was really fucking expensive"  
"Hey but we ended up with like a shit load of dip and dots" you say  
"Yeah and a $100 fine and a ton of sticky ass clothes" Karkat says  
"It was worth it" Terezi says  
"That shit stained" he says  
"So did the literal shit John took behind that bush last year" you say, nodding in the direction of a bush against the far corner of the fence "What?" Karkat asks "Last year we were here and John had to go to the bathroom so he shit behind that bush" you say matter of factly "Why didn't he just go home?" He asks, voice rising "Because he's John and he's lazy" Terezi says "You knew about this too?" Karkat asks, looking unbelieving up at her from where she's swinging "Of course I do, who do you think told him to do it" "Well I wouldn't put it passed Dave" Karkat says, shooting you a pointed glare "No Dave was just the one that took a picture of it" she says. His face makes you both burst out laughing "What the fuck! Why am I friends with such fucking idiots, what the hell else disturbing shit have you done that I don't know about?" You and Terezi look at eachother and start snickering "What? What's so fucking funny" You've devolved into full hysterics now, "shit" you manage to say. He gives you the most unbelieving look yet, "I hate you so much, both of you, this hate is strong and it is never ending, just like there is never an ending to the disgusting ass shit you do for literally no discernible reason" "The reason is it's fun" Terezi says "If fun is shitting behind a bush in a public park then I really don't want to do anything fun" "Whatever, I'm gonna have fun, you can be a looser if you want to" Terezi says  
Karkat just glares at her and curses and you smile at him from behind Terezi  
He smiles a little and it settles your stomach  
You fall into a comfortable silence, Terezi slows her swing a bit and sits back up and you start to actually swing as well  
Karkat sits dragging his feet and looking at the ground  
"Yo Karkat, swing with us" you call  
"I would say it's fun but I know you hate fun" Terezi says  
"I don't hate fun I just hate doing stupid shit" he grumbles  
"But doing stupid shit is what we do best" you say  
"Yeah, I know" he says  
"Whatever you can sit there being lame were gonna keep swinging" Terezi says  
There's a comfortable silence that is interrupted by the sound of shoes on dirt and the squeak of metal swing chains  
You look over and your face breaks into a grin as you see Karkat kicking off and swinging his legs, going higher and higher  
"Yeah Karkat!" You call  
Terezi laughs and it's like the greatest song you've ever heard  
And then there's a real song traveling through the air  
"Did you stand there all alone,  
Well I cannot explain what's goin down" Terezi sings, loud and terribly off key, and she's laughing through the song as she swings  
You grin at the opening lines of your favorite song and sing the next line  
"I can see you standin next to me  
In and out somewhere else right now" and Terezi has turned to you and is giving you a grin that takes up and absurd amount of her face and together you sing the next line  
The singing is terribly loud and off key and out of sync but it doesn't matter, it's the best song you've ever heard  
"You sigh look away  
I can see you clear as day  
Close your eyes so afraid  
Hide behind that baby face"  
"Hey can we not sing that song so fucking loud" Karkat yells, interrupting your song  
"Sorry not happening" Terezi yells and grins at him  
"Common join in, have some fun, stop giving a shit like the rest of us you call!"  
He groans in frustration but it's barely heard over your singing again  
"You can drive all night  
Lookin for the answers in the pourin rain  
Wanna find peace of mind  
Lookin for the answers"  
And then you hear another voice quieter and more raspy but wonderful just the same  
"If we can find a reason a reason to change  
Lookin for the answers  
If you can find a reason a reason to stay  
Standin in the pouring rain"  
"Fuck yeah Karkat!" Terezi yells  
"Woohoooooo" you yell as loud as possible and then all three of you are scream singing into the night  
"Funny how it seems like yesterday  
As I recall you were lookin out of place  
Gathered up your things and slipped away  
No time at all I followed you into the hall  
Cigarette daydream you were only seventeen  
Soft speak with a mean streak  
Nearly brought me to my knees"  
"Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooooo ooooo ooooooooo" you all sing but something interrupts you  
"Hey! You!"  
You all stop singing abruptly and look over to see a lone cop standing over a stopped bike looking your way  
"Shit I knew this would happen" Karkat yells and digs his heels hard into the sandy dirt to stop himself but the force of it is too much and he vaults forward onto his knees  
"Fuck shit fuck!" He yells as Terezi just jumps off her fucking swing and lands rolling and laughing next to Karkat  
You dig your heels into the ground intermittently and come to enough of a stop that you can hop up off the seat if your swing.  
Karkat and Terezi are still on the ground Terezi is laughing Karkat is yelling  
"Why does no one listen to me seriously what the fuck"  
"Not the time Karkat" you say and offer a hand  
He grabs on and Terezi takes the other hand and you pull them both up  
"Hey! you can't be in there after midnight! Hey!" The cop yells and you all look at each other  
"Run?" Terezi asks  
You and Karkat nod, "run"  
Terezi grabs your hands and she pulls you and Karkat after her  
"Hey!" The cop yells and runs towards you, dropping his bike  
"Shit" you say and as you near the fence you let go of each others hands  
"Jump!" Terezi yells and in one move her hand is on the rail and her legs are kicking up to vault her little body over the fence  
You are way to used to this kind of shit  
You put your bare foot on the rail and grab hold of it with your hands and push yourself up  
You join Terezi on the other side and Karkat has stopped at the fence  
"Dude come on!" You yell  
"Okay okay chill" he yells and then he's pulling himself over the fence and landing hard on the other side  
You catch him to steady him and look back at the cop who is getting closer  
"Let's go" you say and then you're all running  
"Hey! Get back here!" The cop yells but his voice quickly gets distant as you run through random alleys tripping over garbage and laughing  
You finally come to a stop under a street light panting and laughing  
"Fuck" you breath and next to you Terezi laughs  
"That was awesome" Terezi says  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Karkat asks through heavy breaths, his cheeks are bright red  
"You know I'm not" she says  
"Yeah, I do" he says  
She laughs as she stands up and pulls him with her  
You stand and your breathing is all getting more even  
Finally when you're breathing normaly again Karkat asks, "so what are we doing now?"  
"We're going to the beach" Terezi says  
"Seriously?" Karkat asks  
"Yeah seriously, I didn't bring supplies for nothing" she says, bgrinning and ouncing her backpack. Something inside clanks loudly and you grin, she knows you.  
"Oh my god" Karkat groans  
"Going to the beach sounds good" you say  
"Commooooooooon" Terezi whines, shaking Karkat by the arm  
"Beach beach beach" you chant  
"Oh my fucking god fine" he says  
"Yeah!" You and Terezi yell and you grab Karkat's other arm and shake him back and forth  
"Okay okay okay just get the fuck off me" he says, pushing you both away  
You both let go and then you're following Terezi down the street  
You walk side by side you and Terezi bumping hips back and forth because you're assholes  
You're both laughing and Karkat is yelling for you to stop so you don't notice them until you're too close to turn around and go another way  
"Heeey" a scratchy, strangely familiar voice drawls   
You stop walking and look up to see a group of people about your age maybe older gathered under a street light. One boy, tall and thin with a head of absurdly messy dark hair, is standing slightly forward and you can tell by his slightly swaying stance that he's pretty trashed  
Fuck  
"Sup" you say  
You have a bad feeling about them but you're just gonna play it cool  
"Just gettin motherfuckin cruuunk" he yells and the rest of the kids laugh and whoop loudly  
"You shouldn't be out so late" a girl says  
"Yeeeaaahhh man, it's not safe" and the tone immediately puts up your guard  
You feel Karkat and Terezi move slightly closer to you  
"How old are you even?" The first boy asks  
"Nineteen" you say and Karkat nods beside you, "I turn twenty in a week"  
"How about you?" The boy asks, turning to Terezi Who stands silently beside you  
You look over at her and she's completely still with her eyes locked on the boy. Her hands are shaking.  
Something's wrong, she doesn't act like this unless she's remembering something bad, she's the most charismatic of all of you and the best at lying normally she would be talking you out of this situation right now but instead she stands beside you unable to move  
"Hey baby girl I asked you a question" he says all sweet and slurred  
You suddenly understand everything  
You knew he looked familiar but you didn't think to place the similarities  
He's Gamzee  
Shorter and lighter skinned but he's still Gamzee  
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck  
"Hey" the boy says again and you move closer to Terezi  
"Hey dude back off" you say and you glance over at Karkat to see him looking between you and the boy  
He must have figured it out too because he looks really nervous  
This can't be happening, she was finally getting better, this can't happen  
"I wasn't talking to you" the boy says and turns his gaze back on Terezi. His eyes are even that same weird shade of blue that looks almost purple.  
"I was talkin to baby girl right here" he says, moving towards Terezi  
It's not until his hand is on her arm that she finally moves  
She jerks away from him, stumbling back, "don't touch me"  
"Aw now don't be like that" he says, moving to swing an arm around her and pull him to her. She flinches away, putting her arms up to protect her face, pulling away from him and stumbling back, "don't touch me! don't touch me!" She yells and your stomach drops. The dudes eyes widen and he looks confused, almost scared   
"Gamzee stop! I'm sorry! Please stop! Stop!" She yells and now it's more of a sob  
The boy puts up his hands and backs away, "woah, what's wrong with her, who's Gamzee?"  
This all happens so quickly that you don't even have time to move but once you actually register what's going on you run to her and lean down, you know better than to touch her at this point  
"Terezi look at me" you say as calmly as possible, "hey, look at me, it's me, it's Dave, its cool, he's not here, it's okay you're gonna be okay" you say  
She whines and curls in on herself more, continuing to shake. You keep talking to her calmly, "hey, it's okay I'm here you're okay"  
She stills and slowly moves her arms from over her face, pale almond eyes peering up at you from behind them  
You take her by the upper arms and hold her steady and then you're holding her and she's sobbing against you  
"I thought it was him" she says against your shoulder  
"It's not him, he's not here, you're safe" you say, rubbing circles on her back the way Roxy used to do when you were little.  
"Hey what the fuck is wrong with her?" you hear the boy say behind you and you let go of Terezi but stand in front of her  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Karkat yells from beside you. Terezi flinches and you move closer to her.  
"Hey dude we didn't want any real shit we were just messin around" he says  
"Yeah well just messing around just fucking did that!" Karkat screams, gesturing to Terezi, and his voice is louder now  
"Do you have any fucking idea in your shit filled skull what you just did"  
The boy puts his hands up and shakes his head  
"Look dude I'm sorry I wasn't trying to do that"  
"Yeah well you fucking did!" Karkat screams  
"I didn't mean it" he says  
"Didn't mean it my ass you're just like him, you're just fucking like him"  
"Who?" The boy asks confused now and the group behind him is now looking around nervously  
"You don't need to fucking know"  
"Dude I'm fuckin sorry I wasn't tryin to hurt her or nothin" he says  
"Yeah you god damn well should be" he says and turns around to face you, "come on" he says to you and you move to check on Terezi but she's already walking passed you and Karkat  
"Wait Terezi are you okay?" Karkat asks  
She talks while still walking and not facing you  
"I'm fine let's just get out of here"  
You take one last hard look at them and follow after her and Karkat  
You walk silently down the street behind Terezi, watching her quick and heavy steps and listening to her small feet hitting the asphalt  
Periodically you glance over at Karkat to see him looking right back at you, worry clear on his face  
When you get to the boardwalk Terezi doesn't bother walking farther down to get to the ramp and chooses instead to just haul herself up and jump over the railing  
You look over at Karkat and shrug  
Seeing his worry though you gesture for him to go first  
When you both reach the railings you lift him up from behind and place his feet on the railing while he flails in surprise and grabs the top railing  
Damn he's heavier than he looks  
"What the fuck Dave?" He yells  
You laugh, "I just figured you needed a lift dude"  
"Haha very fucking funny you can let go of me now"  
"No man I was seriously trying to help you I swear"  
"Whatever just let go of me"  
You do and he pushes himself with some clear effort over the top of the railing, landing heavily near Terezi on the other side  
You go last and you're up and over almost as fast as Terezi  
Once you're all on the boardwalk you look at Terezi as she stares out at the ocean  
Silently she slips off her shoes and picks them up, eyes never moving from the ocean. The distant crashing of the waves on the beach has become louder and you find that you're eyes are locked on the ocean as well  
You're so transfixed that you don't notice Terezi walking down the ramp to the beach until Karkat shakes you  
"Hey asshole, come the fuck on"  
You come back to reality and look over at him, his big eyes are shining in the darkness as he looks slightly up at you  
He's so fucking adorable  
"Yeah sorry" you say and allow him to take your hand and pull you towards the beach  
When you've caught up to Terezi in the middle of the ramp you both slow down but you keep hold of each others hands. Instinctually at the stillness and contact you slip your fingers through the spaces between his. You barely even register that you did it  
Karkat stiffens slightly beside you and looks over and up at you, giving you a look that you can't read. Annoyance? Embarrassment? Happiness?  
Then he smiles at you and you return it  
He looks down and away quickly and you're a little scared that you did something wrong but then he moves closer to you and let's his head rest against your shoulder  
Your whole body hums with happiness and his hand is amazingly warm in yours  
When you reach the bottom of the ramp Terezi walks onto the beach without stopping, small feet sinking into the sand. You follow, pulling Karkat with you and as you walk onto the beach your feet sink into the cold sand and somehow it makes this all so strange  
You're snapped out of your haziness by Karkat curing behind you  
"Fuck shit god dammit" he says and he stops which makes you stop  
"What's up?" You ask. He is leaned over with one foot held off the ground using you as a support  
He glares up at you, "I got sand in my shoes jackass"  
"Actually I believe those and my shoes" you say  
"Yeah which is why there's sand in them, they're too big" he says  
"Then wear your own" you say  
He scowls at you, "Bec ate them, remember?"  
"Oh, yeah" you say, you can't believe you forgot that, you are really out of it  
"Just help me get these off" he says  
He manages to pull one shoe off himself and he switches to his now bare foot to lift his foot with the shoe off the ground  
He pulls at it and growls in frustration  
"Want help?" you ask, smugness clear in your voice  
He glares at you, "yeah I could use it" he says  
You smile and reach forward with one hand, keeping your other arm still to keep him steady  
You move to try to pull the shoe off from the back and it helps that it's loose because with a few more tugs it's off  
Sand pours out of the shoe and you straighten up, dusting the sand off your shirt  
He's looking at you with the other shoe in hand and you offer him the other shoe  
He snatches it from you with a glare but he's suppressing a smile  
"Come on asshole" he says and then you're walking side by side again but quicker this time and without the hand holding  
When you see Terezi she is just a shape against the ocean and the stormy sky  
She's so small  
You and Karkat silently walk towards her and she only turns around when you get close enough to say, "Terezi"  
She can hear creepy well, there's no way she didn't hear you walking towards her  
She turns partially to look back at you and she's smiling again but it's hollow, you've known her long enough that you can tell  
"Hey" she says  
"So why did you drag us here?" Karkat asks  
Her smile actually widens in a sincere way and she walks a few steps behind you and leans down to drop her bag on the ground  
"Come on" she says, gesturing for you to come over as she plops down in the sand beside her bag  
You look at Karkat and shrug and walk over to sit beside her in the sand  
You plop down on her one side and Karkat sits down on her other side and once everyone is settled you both look to Terezi  
"Okay now tell us why the fu-" Karkat starts but she cuts him off with a hand  
"Wait and see, you're so impatient"  
And her smile is genuine now if not a bit tired  
"Hell yeah let's do it" you say and share a grin with Terezi  
"Fine lets just do this already" Karkat says  
With that Terezi turns to where her bag sits at her side and reaches into it  
The first thing she produces is an expertly rolled up blanket  
It's small and thin which is why she was able to fit it in the bag but it should do. The next thing she pulls out puts an immediate smile on your face and produces a groan from Karkat  
"I thought we said no more getting drunk on the beach" Karkat says  
Terezi responds to this by pulling a second, smaller bottle of wine from her bag with a grin  
Karkat smacks the heel of his hand against his forehead and sighs  
"Oh my god"  
Terezi giggles and you nudge him with your elbow, "oh come on Karkat you're so fun when you're drunk"  
"By fun do you mean crying and getting all cuddly?" Terezi asks as she produces three mismatched cups from her bag and holds them up  
"Shut the fuck up" Karkat snaps which just makes her laugh harder  
"Yeah but that's why we love him" you say, swinging an arm around his back and pulling him against you  
"Ugh Dave get off" he says, pushing away from you  
You let him go and instead face Terezi again. "We doin this?" You ask  
She grins, "we are indeed doin this"  
She hands you a cup and pulls one of the bottles of wine into her lap  
"Here I can-" Karkat starts, reaching for the bottle but she ignores him and straight up pulls the cork out with her teeth  
Karkat just looks at her and she grins back at him with the cork still in her mouth  
"Why did you even ask dude?" You ask, taking the now open bottle from Terezi  
Karkat huffs, "I have no fucking idea"  
"Yo TZ, help me pour" you say  
You hand her the cup and she whines  
"I want to pour it"  
"Last time you poured you got it all over John" you say  
She giggles, "yeah, that's exactly why I should pour"  
"The only person who would think that was a good idea is my fucking sister" you say  
"Yeah, she sure did love John after that" she says  
"Yo fuck you it's shitty enough that my sister has the hots for my best friend" you say  
"Roxy has the hots for me? I never would have guessed" She asks, feigning surprise  
"I was talking about John"  
"I thought I was your best friend" she says, now feigning indignation  
"You are, you both are" you say  
"You can't have two best friends, Dave, it negates the speciality that comes with the term best friends" she says  
"Dave Strider doesn't play by the rules" you say  
"I am entirely prepared to fight John for this title" she says completely earnestly  
"You're always prepared to fight John" you say  
"Well this gives me a reason" she says and grins  
"When have you ever needed a reason before?" You ask  
"I always have my reasons, coolkid"  
"And what are these supposed reasons?" You ask  
She shrugs, "looking at him annoys me"  
"Just looking at him" you say, giving her a skeptical look  
"I can't take that stupid buck toothed smile, it's too happy and genuine, it makes me sick" she says  
You laugh and shake your head, "yeah but you love him even more for it"  
"I know, it's terrible" she groans  
"That's John Egbert for you, no one can resist him" you say  
"Yeah, your sister sure can't" she says, winking  
"That's a low blow, Tez" you say  
She opens her mouth to retaliate but Karkat cuts her off  
"Okay can we please stop talking about Egbert and pour the goddamn wine already so I can get drunk enough to stop being conscious enough to deal with this shit"  
"I though you didn't want to get drunk on the beach?" Terezi asks, grinning at him and tipping her head to the side  
"You guys have driven me to it" he says  
"Then we've accomplished our goal" you say, reaching a hand out to high five Terezi  
"Just give me the fucking wine already" Karkat says  
"Anything for a bro" you say  
Terezi hands him the cup and you pour the wine into the cup  
"Tell me when" you say and as the cup begins to fill more and more you and Terezi glance at each other and glance at him  
"Dude" you say and he looks up at you with a glare  
"What Dave?" He asks irritated  
"That's a shit load of wine"  
"Wasn't the point of this to get drunk?" He asks  
"Yeah drunk not trashed, your tiny ass can't handle that much" you say  
"Hey fuck you I'm not that small"  
"Drink it slow" you say  
"Oh my god you really are turning into Kanaya  
"Ima take that as a compliment cause Kanaya is the best" you say  
"Yeah, she is" Karkat agrees and begins to drink his wine but slowly, glaring at you  
You grin, "that's my best bro" you say and he responds by flipping you off as you begin to fill Terezi's cup  
Once they both have their wine you pour some for yourself and set the bottle into the sand beside you  
For a while you drink in silence, you're all thinking about the same thing but none of you are saying anything about it  
It doesn't even feel real, that scene on the sidewalk under the streetlight, but you know it was  
It's been a year  
You knew you were stupid to think things were okay  
You know how she is, she doesn't let it show, just like you  
Sometimes you wish she would just so you could do something, anything for her, but she's stubborn, she doesn't like to accept help.  
"Since everyone is thinking it I'm just going to come right out and say it because I know none of you assholes will" Karkat says  
You look up at him but Terezi keeps her sightless eyes on the sand  
You both look at her  
"Well then say it" she says flatly, taking a drink of her wine  
Karkat looks a little uncomfortable for a second before shaking it off  
"What happened back there..." He starts and Terezi cuts him off, "what about it?" And she looks up right in his eyes with her sightless ones in that terribly unnerving way that she does  
"Terezi..." You start but she cuts you off, sounding upset   
"No, what about it?" She asks, looking from you back to Karkat and yeah she's definitely upset   
He looks at her and she looks back  
"You lost your shit" he says finally  
She narrows her eyes at him, "so? You loose your shit all the time"  
"Not like that I don't" Karkat says  
"Whybdoes it even matter?" she asks  
"Because Terezi, it's serious and you know it" he says  
"Look, I know you're just worried but I don't need any help" she says  
"Obviously you do"  
"No I don't, I told you that, why can't you just mind your own damn business I'm fine"  
"Because last time I minded my own business you almost died!" He yells  
That makes you all go silent  
"Karkat-" you start but he doesn't even notice you  
"I had it handled" Terezi says through gritted teeth   
"Are you fucking serious Terezi!? We found you in an alley, you were almost dead, you didn't wake up for a fucking month, we practically lived in that waiting room! How the fuck is that handled!?" He yells  
"Karkat" you say again, grabbing his arm  
"What Dave, what the fuck could you possibly want?" He yells, turning his anger to you  
You don't need to answer because without his yelling you can hear it  
Sobbinh  
Terezi is shaking with her arms over her head her breath is coming in gasps and sobs  
Karkat's eyes go wide  
"Fuck, Terezi, oh god, I'm sor-" he says, reaching for her  
She hits his hand away  
"Don't fucking touch me!"  
Karkat pulls his hand back looking like he's about to cry  
"Are you oka-"  
"No! I'm not okay, is that what you want to hear!? I'm not okay and I'm never going to be so you can just stop fucking asking me!" She screams  
There's a heavy silence after that just the night and the waves and even Karkat doesn't try to say anything  
Still shaking Terezi takes a sip of wine and stares at the ground with lost hazy eyes  
You glance at Karkat who kind of looks like he's about to cry  
He opens his mouth to say something but without even looking up Terezi puts her hand up to stop him  
"Don't say it"  
"Terezi I was being an ass I'm so-"  
She looks up abruptly with a now tired face like all the energy was taken out of her  
"It's fine Karkat"  
She looks back down, "you were right"  
"No I shouldn't have pushed it" he says  
"No, I needed it, trying to handle everything on my own got me into this in the first place"  
She takes a breath and tightens her grip on her cup of wine  
"I'm not doing great" she says  
There's a heavy silence which you finally break, "no shit Tez"  
She looks up at you with a glare but her face breaks into a smile  
"I love you, you know that coolkid" she says  
You grin and open your mouth to reply but she throws her arms around your neck and hugs you painfully tight  
You laugh and hug her back, "love you too Tez"  
"Well I'm glad you both love me" Karkat says  
You let go of each other and turn to him  
"Shut up Karkat" she says and pulls him into a hug  
"Fuck Terezi I can't breath let go" he says, pushing at her  
She smiles against his shoulder, "no way, I love you too much"  
"Uuuhhhgg I hate you" he groans but after a moment he hugs her back  
"Love you too" he says quietly, lips barely moving against his hair  
"Well now I feel left out" you say  
They let go and look at you, "you know we love you, I just told you like literally thirty seconds ago" Terezi says  
"Karkat never said that he loved me" you say, looking at him  
His cheeks go pink and he looks down  
"Oh I see how it is" you say, "our friendship means nothing to you, is that what you're saying?"  
He glares up at you, "hey fuck you"  
"Not until you say you love me"  
"Oh my god shut up" he groans  
"Okay we all know you love Dave Karkat, can we shut up and look at the stars or something" Terezi says  
"I thought we were here to get drunk" you say  
"Thank you so much Dave for reminding us of our true purpose" Karkat says  
"Shut up and drink, KK" you say, taking a big gulp of your wine  
"Oh god that's nasty" you say, coughing  
"You're such a lamo" Terezi says, downing the rest of her cup in one go  
"Your turn Karkat" you say  
He groans, "I am I am shut up" he says, taking a gulp of wine  
You and Terezi grin at each other and then back at him  
"I hate you both so much" he says

You finish off the wine by 3 am and then you're just left in the silence of the beach, watching the waves crash down in the dark  
At some point Terezi falls asleep on the sandy blanket between you and Karkat and you are left sitting in silence  
"I'm sorry I've been such an ass lately" Karkat says and you just barely hear him over the waves  
"What?" You ask, turning to him  
"How I've been acting, being all weird with you and shit" he says  
"Oh, it's okay man, I get it. If you don't wanna do...whatever this is its alright, seriously" you say  
"No, I do, I do want to do this I'm just, I don't know I'm shitty okay, I don't know how to do this, uhg I fuck everything up" he says, putting his face in his and pulling on his dark hair  
"Dude calm down, it's okay, I'm shit at this too" you say  
"No you're not, you're awesome" he says, "why do you even like me? I suck, I fuck up everything, I'm shit" his voice choked at the end and he starts shaking  
Oh no, Karkat is the worst crying drunk ever  
"Karkat, dude, stop this okay, you're just getting all emotional cause you're drunk, you're not shit, you're great" you say, leaning over Terezi to put your hand on his shoulder  
He's quiet, keeping his head in his hands  
"I really am the worst crying drunk aren't I" he says, smiling tiredly against his hands  
You smile, "you really are"  
"uhg why did I let you guys talk me into this?" He asks  
"Because we're awesome and you love us" you say, "you should get some sleep though"  
"what about you?" He asks  
"I'm gonna stay up for a while" you say  
"No you're not, you're just going to stay up all night and wake me up at the ass crack of dawn to go get ice cream, get some fucking sleep" he says  
"I'm good dude" you say  
"No you're not, you're going to sleep" he says  
You shrug, "fine, you have convinced me to sleep"  
You flop back onto the sandy blanket and he lays down on the other side of the blanket  
Terezi is curled up between you holding the empty wine bottle and you can see his face over her head  
He settles on the blanket and faces you, large eyes bright in the dark  
His eyes are barely staying open and you take his hand, it's warm in yours  
"Love you" he says, lips barely moving  
You smile, your whole body filling with warmth, "love you too"

**Author's Note:**

> The only part of this that didn't actually happen to me was drinking on the beach, we slept on the beach but we didn't bring wine because we're good kids that follow the rules  
> We did get yelled at by a beach cop though but to our defense we didn't know we weren't supposed to be on the playground at night  
> Also yes, my friend did shit behind a bush at the playground because she didn't feel like walking home, and yes we did take a picture


End file.
